Question: Did the raw honey you bought help with your pollen allergies? You talked about it a few shows ago.

I’ve been enjoying your podcast since October and this is my first comment.

I understand your point about how learning about other people’s life experience leads to tolerance, but where we differ is in thinking that the person who is the subject of intolerance is somehow obligated to be your textbook. You know? Like if someone is going around being treated like a freak all the time, and you genuinely want to learn about them, you shouldn’t treat them like a freak by trying to dissect their life experience and by thinking you’re somehow entitled to their life experience because they’re different from you. Saying, “well, maybe instead of laying back and taking abuse for who you are, you should try to educate people” puts the burden on the people who are abused, and not the people who are committing the abuse. If they want to talk to you, fine, but otherwise, read a book or use the internet. There are resources out there, made by people who actually don’t mind telling strangers these things! Also oh my god, Marina, don’t ask anyone asexual if they’ve been molested. Actually, don’t ask anyone if they’ve been molested. That’s not your business if they don’t want to tell you.

Sorry to get so serious and so pissed about this, but in pretty much all anti-oppression circles, “I am not obligated to be your textbook, because I am in fact a *person*” is 101 stuff, and expecting someone to educate you, *especially* with their personal life experiences, is really invasive and entitled. “I was molested” or “I’m a woman with a dick” is not actually the same thing as “I bought this t-shirt at the gap.”

When I wanted to kill myself, my libido was intact. Whether that helped or not is debatable.

oh, and the awesome email from Sabrina